So Sweet That It's Almost Disgusting
by Mira Lynne
Summary: It's Valentine's Day! But for Ikebukuro, is it just chocolates and confessions of love? Not even Izaya will give this city a holiday; it's the perfect day to observe his lovely humans. Surely they'll find it to be.. bittersweet, human or not.


"Valentine's Day?"

"You can't tell me you forgot," the woman with cascading black hair raised an eyebrow. It would have been considered a disbelieving look had she cared. She did not even stop in her work to arrange several books and suspicious documents on the already neat shelf.

"Me?" The man laughed. He spun in his office chair before gracefully jumping off and sinking his slender body into the couch. "Forget? Namie-san, did _you_ forget that I'm an information broker?" Izaya Orihara flashed a beaming smile at the woman whose back was turned to him. However, she could feel his burning gaze to which she slightly shivered.

"Don't look down on me," Namie Yagiri muttered under her breath, completely aware that it wouldn't get past him. Her expectations were rewarded, albeit disappointingly, when he laughed cheerfully. "I also remember that 'ambrosia' chocolate rumor you spread. Which brings me to wonder, what are you planning this year?" She finally turned to face him.

"Ah, that rumour." He smiled still, nodding. "Shinra figured it out soon enough… But Namie-san, why do you wonder? I thought the only thing you cared about would be giving your dear brother chocolate filled with your eternal love… although he has someone-"

"Do not speak of that doll," she cut him off.

He looked amused. "Ah, sorry," he apologized, though it was obvious that he was not apologetic at all. "Or perhaps you're curious because you've given up on your fruitless love of your brother and wish to give me chocolate… If that's so, I'm afraid I'll have to reject your offer, as I have too much from my followers…"

"Your worshippers," Namie snapped at him, while shuffling through documents and letters. She picked up a envelope laced in pink with ribbons protruding from it. Her cold demeanor melted in an instant as she thought of her younger brother.

"Seiji…" she sighed and substituted the envelope for her brother's photograph and hugged it like a teenage girl in love. The immediate change in personality ruined such an image, though, and she returned to reality soon enough to nearly rip the envelope in half.

She muttered to the side, _"I'll kill you_," to which Izaya responded with laughter and a "That's no good, Namie-san." Namie scowled then decided to stop humouring him. Instead, she pointed at the stack of envelopes. "From your _fans_." She ended it in a venomous tone.

"Please, Namie, it's pointless to write multiple love letters under fake names to express your feelings to me," Izaya reasoned, unable to hide his smirk while twirling his index finger beside his face. After taking a look at Namie's enraged expression, he let out one last chuckle and then directed his attention to the stack. "They're usually traumatized girls and whatnot, how surprising," he mused.

Namie now gave up, made a note to herself to poison Izaya later on while making dinner and, with a bitter smirk plastered on her face, questioned him. "Surprising?" She held up an open letter with a slight bored expression. "Doesn't this happen every year?"

"Yes," he simply answered. "But that doesn't change the fact that it's strange… or just to me. It's very interesting," Izaya murmured. Namie turned back to her work knowingly, prepared to completely block out Izaya's rambling.

"Why do humans, particularly girls, give chocolate to the person, or persons, they like? Is giving out chocolate a sign of caring or so-called love? The love of humans… it's admittedly difficult to understand, to comprehend. Like slipping love letters into shoe lockers in high school. If a girl wanted to confess to the boy she liked, it would be more effective to face him; it creates an awkward and nervous setting for both of them by sending a letter instead. Even so, I can't love like they do… a much broader and complete love, not at all romantic. That's what mine is. I can't help but love humans so very, very much. They're so interesting, so enthralling, I love them!" Izaya threw his head back and shouted.

"I LOVE HUMANS! SO VERY MUCH, AS THEY ARE SO VERY APPEALING AND INTERESTING, I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT… I ADORE THEM SO MUCH!" He barely fumbled with his hands before making a 'hito' with his two index fingers in front of his face. "And because I love people so much," he changed the shape of his hands into a heart and grinned, "they should all love me, as well."

And with that, he spread his arms across the top of the couch and watched Namie at work, then turned to look at the head in the container beside him.

"Are you done already?" She didn't bother to even turn to look at him. "Do you have any particular reason to repeat that last bit every day? Is it a ritual, even on Valentine's Day?" Her bored drawl did not escape Izaya's awareness.

"Oh?" he questioned, though perhaps rhetorically. "Should I continu-"

"No."

"Okay, then."

Izaya turned his concentration back to Celty's head. Her eyes were closed, as if in peaceful sleep, and her light brown hair fell over her face almost messily. Namie took notice of how easily Izaya gave up with just that, and then she suddenly came to some sort of realization and started walking over to Izaya. She swung the stack of letters in a slashing motion towards Izaya's neck, to which he immediately ducked his head. He reached up to take the letters from Namie, rising in his sitting position with an amused face.

"Thought of something?" he inquired.

"You never answered my question," Namie stated. "What exactly are you planning to do this year?" She placed a hand on her hip, clearly annoyed.

"You really have no confidence in the possibility that I won't plan anything for this year?" Izaya laughed.

"Clearly not," she replied, without a moment of hesitation. A small smile crawled onto her face at her next thought. Before Izaya could question it, Namie shot back at him, "Nor does Shizuo Heiwajima for that matter." That wiped the smug look off Izaya's face entirely.

"…Ah…" he murmured. "Shizu-chan…" He crossed his legs in thought, disconcerted.

"If I can't punch you because I'm working for you, surely he can," Namie concluded.

"Namie-san, if you love me so much-"

"Go die."

This made Izaya let out a small "ha!" before he turned to look out the window, significantly less carefree than before. He disposed of the letters and envelopes over the container of Celty's head, allowing them to fall like rose petals. Suddenly, he reached forward to the table in front of him. Before him, there laid a game board with shogi, chess, and checker pieces. Despite the puzzling setup, Izaya picked up the white queen and, without a second thought, moved it beside a different type of piece. He leaned back to observe the positions, especially those of the surrounding pieces, only slightly satisfied.

"I wonder what Shizu-chan's up to today~" he hummed.

The expression on his face was now indiscernible, and the tone of voice he used completely changed to a threatening one. However, it disappeared instantaneously and he flashed a refreshing smile at Namie for a second, a smile that absolutely paralyzed her with fear. At that moment, the Izaya Orihara that Namie Yagiri knew was a truly intimidating individual whom she hoped would never have to deal with. The bright, luxurious apartment seemed to dim slightly, although it was barely now afternoon. Namie Yagiri knew better than to question it and returned to her work.

"Well, then!" Izaya swung himself off of the couch, immediately grabbed his unusual fur-lined attire, pulled it on with ease, and waved to Namie who was still shuffling through documents and papers. "Remember to send that-"

"-to Awakusu-kai, as usual. Off to Ikebukuro?" She didn't once look back, and she didn't need to, after hearing Izaya stand up.

Izaya gave a thin smile and casually stuck his hands in his coat pockets. "Well, it's only natural for me to have the desire of observing humans on the day that they express love to each other and present gifts such as chocolate to their loved ones. Chocolate that is both sweet and terribly bitter, almost disgusting…" This declaration gave Namie a bit of a shock. A strange, dark aura seemed to emit from the raven-haired information broker. And with a slow, exaggerated movement, he raised the black coat's hood over his head and turned away from his secretary.

"That's just an excuse to go bother Shizuo Heiwajima, isn't it?" Namie could not stop herself even though she knew how dangerous it was to provoke him any further.

Izaya simply waved his hand, to her surprise, and left. The air of the room seemed to give a big sigh of relief with his departure, but Namie still stared at the spot where Izaya's back was only moments before.

Her eyes narrowed.

"What exactly _is_ Valentine's Day to you, Izaya?"


End file.
